A defense to Comic Sans

October 21, 2010

Designers, typographers and professionalists everywhere have one thing in common: Comic Sans is the devil.

The popular typeface has been making waves in the past years, but mostly for negative attention. The more that Comic Sans is used in blogs, websites, store signs and business events- the more angry people with an “eye-for-design” are getting at the font.

Comic Sans, which was originally based off of the design from speech bubbles in graphic novels, is a rounded and bold font that gives the impression of child-like handwriting. Some wonder why is a child’s handwriting a good thing to replicate? Recently, Comic Sans has been the predominate typeface with teachers and is commonly used for the treatment of children with dyslexia, due to its easy to read attributes.

Helvetica, Comic Sans’ arch-nemesis, has also stolen the spot light in the graphic world. The Swiss sans-serif is clean, simple, powerful, and everywhere. The topic of numerous documentaries, Helvetica, evokes a certain type of authority- as we see it commonly used on street signs, office logos, and everywhere in between. However, arguments against the Helvetica typeface state that it is now boring and overused.

Whatever your opinions are on the two fonts are, you will find people who like both. Ultimately it boils down to a matter of preference.

But since Comic Sans gets bashed by everyone in the art world at all times, this satirical monologue by Mike Lacher, titled: “I’m Comic Sans, Asshole” addresses some hilarious points that are often missed.

I’m Comic Sans, Asshole.


– – – –

“Listen up. I know the shit you’ve been saying behind my back. You think I’m stupid. You think I’m immature. You think I’m a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I’m Comic Sans, and I’m the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.

You don’t like that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the break room fridge? You don’t like that I’m all over your sister-in-law’s blog? You don’t like that I’m on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I’m pedestrian and tacky? Guess the fuck what, Picasso. We don’t all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can’t all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry I’m standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the fuck up for once.

People love me. Why? Because I’m fun. I’m the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business’ website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring.

When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I’m banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, I’m shredding “Reign In Blood” on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I’m racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who’ll kill me if I don’t cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.

It doesn’t even matter what you think. You know why, jagoff? Cause I’m famous. I am on every major operating system since Microsoft fucking Bob. I’m in your signs. I’m in your browsers. I’m in your instant messengers. I’m not just a font. I am a force of motherfucking nature and I will not rest until every uptight armchair typographer cock-hat like you is surrounded by my lovable, comic-book inspired, sans-serif badassery.

Enough of this bullshit. I’m gonna go get hammered with Papyrus.”


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